


I'll Brave Christmas For You (Because I Love You)

by Rainy182



Series: I Hate Chocolate Chip Cookies [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Christmas Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Peter is an Idiot, Post Hale Fire, Spark Stiles Stilinski, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-09-01 11:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy182/pseuds/Rainy182
Summary: Stiles and Peter's first Christmas together and everything that leads up to it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally updating the "I Hate Chocolate Chip Cookies" (IHCCC) series! You can totally thank Tumblr for that one!

After the Cleo incident everything was smooth sailing for Peter and Stiles. Neither of them felt bad or stressed about lying to each other anymore about their food preferences (all of the chocolate chip cookies went straight to the trash) and at the end of the day it was a funny story. But the best part, was as a result the last “courting barrier” crumbled, and all of a sudden Peter and Stiles became  _ PeterandStiles _ . It annoyed Scott to no end, however even _ he _ could smell how happy Stiles was now. So Scott finally stopped trying to play matchmaker with the spark and Theo, much to Peter’s (and the packs as they know how Peter is) relief. 

But all the spending more time together and finally being  _ official _ brings a new challenge for the wolf. A challenge called Christmas specifically. As it's commonly known, Christmas is a big deal in Beacon Hills, so much so the town turns into a Hallmark channel basically throughout the holidays. And in the past the Hales were right in the center of it. Talia and Mark organizing the Santa 5k run, the children helping out with Toys4Tots, and Peter himself doing pro bono work all month and even sometimes dressing up as Santa for the towns kids. 

However one fire and eight years later, a lot have changed for the last three remaining Hales. Cora now is living in South America and only calls about once a month (never on family originated holidays though, no fault of anyone's). Derek and Peter, although closer now than before and are currently living together simultaneously ignore things like Christmas and Thanksgiving as well. After all, why would they want to celebrate something that would only serve to remind them of what they lost? 

Peter knows realistically he can’t avoid Christmas forever and that eventually he will have to fully move past the death of his pack. But he also knows that smelling hot chocolate still makes him think of his grandmothers sent. And that every time he watches a Peanuts Christmas special he thinks of the children's laughter. It makes him wonder sometimes of if they had survived, who they have new traditions? Would they still welcome him to the Christmas dinner table the way he is now? Scarred and still a little broken. It's those moments and thoughts that actually make his throat feel as if it is closing, and his eyes form tears. 

But Peter is now looking as Stiles, who is sitting in his lap wrapped in a blanket ( _ “I get cold Peter! Not all of us are walking furnaces.” _ ), animatedly talking about Christmas decorations and inviting him and Derek to the Stilinski home.How his face is lit up in excitement. And he only frowns a little when he scolds Peter,  _ “What do you mean you don’t want to invade? You are family Peter, Derek too. Of course we want you with us.” _ It makes Peter’s throat tighten from a completely different emotion. Peter tighten his grip slightly before giving a soft hum in agreement. 

_ I can do this _ , he thinks after a few moments,  _ I can try Christmas again. For you _ . 

Stiles eventually quiets back down and looks back towards the movie that’s playing out in front of them. 

“Peter?” 

“Yes darling,” Peter softly replies to Stiles.

“Can you turn up the heater a little? I’m still cold…” 

Peter huffs out a small laugh before giving a small nod, “Of course darling, I’d do anything for you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um surprise chapter?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never sat with a professional therapist, so how I wrote this is a 000000.00000001% chance if how it actually goes in sessions. But I needed a chapter on how exactly Peter (isnt) thinking when it comes to his plan to brave Christmas.

“Your plan is going to bite you in the ass.” 

Peter hated his therapist. Unlike his last therapist this woman was sarcastic, didn’t believe any of his bull, and constantly called him out on his schemes. It was probably why he still attends, so he can actually get better and more  _ adjusted _ . However in moments like this, when he didn’t want to do the healthy thing and instead wanted to do the normal thing, it can be annoying. 

“I don’t see the problem,” Peter starts off only to be cut off by Drew.

“That’s the problem actually, but continue,” her voice dry with slight humor, but Peter just rolls his eyes. 

“Wouldn’t it be a great way to get over my trauma?” He questions, his arms going out in exasperation as he leans back in his chair slightly, the front of the legs raising from the floor. Drew just looks at him with a raised eyebrow at his words before he gives a slight chuckle. 

“Oh right,” Peter pulls a mocking smile on his face, “ _ work though my trauma _ , my bad.” 

Peter watches as Drew as she looks at him for a weighted minute before looking down to write notes in her open journal. He wonders what she uncovered in the split moment let his cynicism out. If she rediscovered the lasting insecurities and fears he has about himself. Or if she found something brand new to add to her book of Peter Edward Hale. 

When she stops writing, she sets the pen down and fully closes her journal instead of leaving it ready for anymore notes that can be added in the last ten minutes of their session. Drew looks at him again in silence and sighs. 

“So what are you getting Stiles and his father for Christmas? I take it you’ve started your shopping?” 

Peter hadn’t started yet actually. Every time he’s tried to go inside the mall to find Stiles and John something he’s freeze up upon seeing the families walking in. He’ll hear a little girls laugh that sounds a little too close to his late daughters, or he’ll see a pregnant wife walking with her husband. He hadn’t even made it out of the car last time. 

“How about decorations Peter? Are you helping your boyfriend decorate his home? I’d met Claudia when she was still alive- may she rest in peace- and that was a huge tradition. Decorating the house as a family, and all those in it.” 

Peter thinks back to the untouched box of Christmas ornaments that sits in the Hale vault. They were crafted by his grandfather as a gift to his grandmother, made of glass and crystal. It was a tradition to place them on the christmas tree no matter the theme. He’d have to get them if he wanted to decorate, but even the thought of looking at them makes his insides turn to a numbing ice. 

“And Derek? Since you accepted the invitation for him, does he know?” 

Peter looked towards the window and watched the snow fall. And he let himself lean father back in the chair, the front legs rising higher and higher. 

“I’ll figure all that out,” Peter’s voice pulling on false confidence as he turns back to Drew and smirks, “Won’t be hard.” 

The chair wobbles and steadies as Peter keeps leaning back, the back legs starting to strain and groin under the weight. 

“Peter, I can’t help you find solutions if you never plan to acknowledge the problems.” 

The alarm on the corner of Drew’s desk gave a loud shrill announcing the end of today's session. Peter finally lets himself lean forward and the chair slams back onto all four legs causing Drew to give a slight flinch at the sudden sound. 

“Merry Christmas Drew,” standing up Peter grabs his jacket and leaves.

Peter hates his therapist. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you like it? I'm thinking there's going to only be five chapters to this which means until my other fics this won't drag on for two years. ~~where else have we head this? Oh yeah from me, like two months ago!~~


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles notices that Peter is behaving differently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lets act like a Duck Tales movie and pretend that its still Christmas. Also short chapter but the next will be longer!!

Stiles knew something was wrong when Peter came home unusually quiet. Not that the man was the chatterbox of the two of them, but the older wolf usually made at least two sarcastic remarks in the first five minutes home. However it’s now been almost five hours and the most that Stiles received was a hum of acknowledgment when he had asked what Peter wanted for dinner. 

“Peter,” Stiles called out, attempting again to talk, “you okay?” 

From the kitchen the spark watched as his boyfriend finally turned away from the book he’d been reading (staring at blankly) and give a small smile. Though his eyes blink slowly as if he were just coming out of a dazed dream. 

“Yeah,” he replies, setting the book down and getting up,” I am.” 

Stiles returns the smile with one of his own, although lips closed and eyebrows scrunched in worry, and begins working on making pasta. But he listens still, to the sound of Peter shuffling into the kitchen and settling on the chair in front of him. And he listens to the sigh that the wolf releases and the drum of his fingers. 

“Can you help me with the mashing the potatoes?” At the question, Peter gives a slow nod before reaching for the bowl and metal masher. 

The sounds of the two of them cooking fill the kitchen as they both focus on what they each are doing. Stiles however also has Peter on his mind, and Peter was lost in his own. It wasn’t until the ding of the stove going off- signalling that it was finally hot enough for the pie- that Stiles spoke up once again. 

“You know you can always talk to me if you need to right?” he questioned, “I love you Peter. And I’m always here if you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry.” 

The young hazel eyed boy watches as Peter suddenly stops moving, dropping the masher into the bowl of potatoes carelessly. When he looks up at Stiles his eyes are filled with a gleam of unshed tears. Stiles rushes around the island to pull Peter into his arms, the action causing the older man to let out a muffled sob. 

“Peter- “ 

“I can’t do it,” Peter says in one breath.

“Can’t do what Peter?” confusion coloring Stiles tone as he tries to figure out what  _ it _ is.

But Peter pulls back suddenly, his hands going up to cradle Stiles’ face. A smile tugs his lips as he looks at Stiles, but it's filled with sadness and deep regret. This look is what causes Stiles bubbling panic. A mix of dread of a breakup and fear of Peter doing something to hurt himself swirling inside the pit of his stomach. 

“I love you Stiles,” Peter says quietly, “But I can’t spend Christmas with you…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters left!!


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stiles and Peter start talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really like this chapter all that much, but I also wanted to get this Big Talk(TM) over with so...
> 
> Anyways! Here ya go!

It’s been three days since Peter broke down in front of Stiles and four nights since the spark has even seen the wolf. After Peter made his announcement he soon left, declaring that he’ll be at Derek's, and that he needs time to breath. Because of this Stiles has been trying not to give in to his desire to call or text Peter repeatedly, but he still worries. Worries that he did something to push Peter too far out of his comfort zone. Worries that Peter might do something regrettable in his distress. But most of all just worried because he’s never seen Peter look so broken. 

It’s night number five when he finally makes his way to Derek’s loft. The young man hopes he isn’t crossing too many boundaries by going against Peter’s wishes, and he hopes that whatever arguments his arrival brings will be outweighed by the conversation that they obviously need to have. So he puts on a brave face when he approaches the front door to the loft and in a way of pre-apology for even being there he knocks and waits to be let in. 

“Thank God,” is the first thing Derek says as soon as he opens the door, “I thought you might actually leave him to wallow here.” 

Stiles lets a frown take over his features as he tries to look past Derek into the main area of the apartment, “He’s still upset? Can I see him?” 

Derek moves out of the way and opens the door wider, letting Stiles move inside, “Yes, although now it’s because he feels he disappointed you,” he says as he closes the door. 

“What?” The young sparks tone filled with shock, “How? I’m the one who obviously-” 

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Derek cuts in, “Since obviously you two have a huge communication problem. And I mean huge.” 

“We don’t have a-” 

“You two spent months thinking the other liked Chocolate Chip cookies because you never bothered to just ask,” Derek cuts off again with a dry tone. 

Stiles deflates with a sheepish look, “Okay, maybe a slight communication problem.” 

Derek sighs before turning away and walking towards the kitchen, “He’s in his old room sulking.” 

Stiles gives a quick nod and makes his way towards the back room. He tries to approach as quiet as possible although he already knows Peter knows that he is here. Which is only confirmed when he hears the older Hale’s raspy voice though the bedroom door as he waits outside. 

“You can come in Stiles,” the Spark can’t help but jump in a startled reaction before making his way into the room. 

The first thing the mage notices is how dark the room is, how the curtains are blackouts, and the entire bed is made up of a fort of dark blue blankets. The floor remains spotless, but the desk that sits under the window, and is usually barren, is covered with papers and an array of pens. Unsure where he could sit, or if he even is allowed to, he chooses to stand awkwardly adjacent to the foot of the bed. 

“Peter,” he tries to start only for the man himself to cut him off. 

“I’m sorry.” Stiles pauses and waits for the man to continue, but at his silence he lets out a sigh and moves a few steps closer to the bed. Allowing himself to be close enough to comfort Peter if needed. 

“You don’t need to be Peter,” he starts again, “I’m just confused is all.” 

Stiles moves closer to the bed again until he’s standing where he thinks Peter’s head lays. He takes a deep breath before speaking again, Derek’s words of lack of communications remaining on his mind, “Peter, if you aren’t ready to talk that’s okay. But I need to just know if you’ll  _ ever _ be ready to talk. Not in detail,” he rushes to assure, “But at least enough so I’m not stepping in a minefield when it comes to you.” 

Stiles waits, but all that greets him is silence and the soft sound of blankets being shuffled around gently. He waits a few more minutes before he decides to try one last thing. 

“Do you know why I actually hate chocolate chip cookies Peter?,” he asks as he moves to sit on the side of the bed, “My mom used to bake the best cookies in Beacon Hills County, or at least that’s what my dad and I believed. All kinds too, some with Reese's, some with M&Ms, some with regular old chocolate. I loved eating the cookies she baked growing up, but then she died.” 

Stiles takes a moment to pause. He hasn’t told this to anyone except Scott, and it’s been so long he’s now realizing that some of the memories are fuzzy around the edges. Was the kitchen yellow with a white trim? Or was it patterned? His mom had brown eyes right? He doesn’t realize that his breath was starting to quicken until he feels thick arms wrap around his waist. 

“My daughter, Hazel, she loved Christmas. The whole thing, mall Santa's and all, and she liked to ice skate,” Peter’s voice was barely louder than a whisper. 

“That’s why you didn’t want to go ice skating last week,” Stiles says with a tone of understanding. When he feels Peter’s head nod in agreement the spark lets out a sigh, “I should’ve asked you if you were even fine with celebrating Christmas…” 

The sound of Peter’s disagreeing grunt fills the room as he raises his head, “You did. I just never said no, and that’s on me.” 

“Yes,” Stiles partially agrees, “However, I did kinda bulldog you slightly,” he turns around to face Peter fully, “just because I use Christmas as a healing tool doesn’t mean it’s yours.” 

Peter stayed silent, his head going back to rest in the crook of Stiles’ neck, and Stiles joined him in the silence. Both of them thinking about themselves and each other, and both thinking of the past. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last and will be more fluffy to get back on the light heartiness of this series!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter thinks some things over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first complete fic that's not a one-shot!

When December twenty-fifth rolled around the Stilinski-Hale home was quiet. The lights that previously hung along with tinsel and garland was put away. The tree that was decked out now mostly bare but still standing tall with a single gold star shining high on top. A few presents stayed beneath the tree, but they weren’t the focal point of the day anymore. No, the focuses of the day were currently laying in bed, hidden away from the world, wrapped up in each other. 

Stiles was still sleeping when Peter woke up, the rising sun casting light just out of reach in their bedroom. He watched his mate in the softly lit room, listening to the sound of his breathing, and thinking over the past few days. He wished that him and Stiles had the much needed talk before it came to a head like it had. However, he also thinks that it needed to boil over just for the two of them to realize that it was a much bigger issue than they were making it out to be. 

He can’t help but wonder though if he’ll spend the rest of his entire life unable to celebrate a holiday because of trauma of his past. He hopes not, but he appreciates that he has someone who will understand if he does. Suddenly he can’t help but think of Derek, who had to leave to finally find himself. Who spent years away before coming back a new  _ whole  _ person, and in love and expecting too. 

_ You need to work though your trauma, not “get over it” _ . That’s what Drew told him all those years ago during his first therapy session. He never dismissed her words, went against them yes, but never dismissed. He thinks of Cora now, and how she told him once she rock climbs to rise above it all. At first he thought she meant the drama. But maybe she was rising above her demons as well. 

It’s Christmas, Peter thinks, mulling the words over and over in his mind. He’s not a religious man, not by modern standards at least, but he believes in the message that Christmas delivers. How it leads into Lent, than Easter, like a storybook. A story of birth, relinquish, and rebirth. 

He leans down to give Stiles’ shoulder a simple kiss before leaning back again. Not too far, never too far, but far enough to take in all of his lover. 

“Mmmh,” Stiles mumbles before turning his body towards Peter in his sleep, “I love you Peter Hale.” 

A smile tugs at the corners of the wolf’s mouth as he leans back down to give Stiles’ shoulder one last kiss before shutting his eyes to go back to sleep. Wrapping his arms around the younger man he lets himself rest and his mind stop racing. Deciding that his troubles can wait for later in the day- or tomorrow. But first…

“Merry Christmas Mieczyslaw”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not the ending I envisioned if I'm honest, but I think I did okay. However, that being said, everything after this in this series will be fluff fluff FLUFF! (I hope)

**Author's Note:**

> Also I'm really starting to write my orginal works for offten now! So if you want to check that out, head over to Thoughtsanddrabbles.wordpress.com or my wattpad (@Rnevermore01)!


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